Best Feelings in the World

Are the ones that have no words to explain them.
Today, Celeste, Alex, and I delivered a food box to this family.
We pulled up to the trailer and I felt this sadness come over me.
But then again a sense of happiness.
We were giving them something, something they needed.
I can't describe how giving the family the box made me feel.
Ahh I'll remember it forever.
<3 :)

Diego Ray Roybal

Here's the deal with this kiddo.
He's super cute he's my little boyfrand. ha
He belongs to my cousin Jessica.
So it's kinda weird how he calls me his girlfriend.
It's cute though because he's only 2.
He was named after his uncle Diego.
Who died a few years back.
This little man is exactly like him.
He's even left handed like him.
Weird or weird?
He brings great joy to my life though.
I love love him a great deal.
<3 :) <3

My better day.

Friday November the 13th 2009
Woke up feeling refreshed, no longer..well you know.
School was a drag like always.
Now it's time for Friday night football.
Sunnyside Vs. Horizon
Let's go Blue Devils!

Now.. I have a love for monkeys.
This just so happened to be drawn for me.
I think he's just the cutest.
He took my mind off things.
:)

The days go on.

Yet it's still so hard to get over this.
I need to move on, I need to do it fast.
My heart can't take it anymore.
My eyes are all out of cries.
Day by day it will get better.
I know it will.

Last night.

Well what can I say?
It was one of those nights.
I expressed myself, maybe a tad too much?
I told them i'd cry and I did.
It is just hard to let him go.
Maybe I should text him?
But I just can't not now. Not ever.
I believe he knows I love him, I think he will know forever.
For sure I thought that girl would be me.
Now I have to try and deal with this.
Thanks Celeste for everything.
Oh and Alex thanks for listening to my drunk ass.
The thought of moving on.. I just can't.
My heart is broken and it will never heal.
This is great.

The one I love

I don't know what more to say.
It hurts to know your with someone else.
I cried nonstop earlier for like an hour.
I can't let you go not now. We haven't talked.
I thought I didn't care anymore it was a lie.
I've loved from that day at the park I just didn't know it.
Stupid me to think after all that time, you would have the same feelings.
I want you to know I'll love you always.
I can say it's all my fault but it's not.
It's you.
I've never loved another how I love you.
You will forever be in my heart.

Joseph Soqui

Well Joseph what can I say?
Ha he put a post up about me so I thought
I should post one about him.
He's super funny, especially when he's drunk.
Ha I love you Joe.
Even though you were all up on my friend hahaha.
:)

Halloween 2009

What a great night.
Happy birthday Luis, I hope it was the best.
I am happy to say I was sober the whole night.
It was funny watching people throw up.
But it was quite nasty, when I was cleaning it up.
For sure Halloween of 2009 will be remembered.
Forever and ever! Ha!

Paris

The prettiest city ever, other than Barcelona, Spain.
Full of dreams, full of love. So far i'm gone.. to this magical place.
But only in my dreams.
Then I awake and realize I am stuck here.
In this horrible place.

The God Children

It seems I only find my happiness when I am with these two.
They can't judge me. At least not yet.

The sad truth

Wow I have no idea how to feel right now. My life is coming to a screeching halt. This feeling is more than hurt, it's more than sad, I just don't know how to explain it. I have no words it's that bad.
I just need to leave this place and never come back. My life used to be so peaceful, so full of love, no hate, no nothing. I feel like a hallow person, numb, no movement, no nothing, a piece of chopped liver.
I guess I can say I brought it upon myself. So much for defending myself now. It's too much energy keep on trying to explain myself. In the end it's as if I never spoke. What is the use? I have nothing more to say. ha. I'm finished for now
-B-

Happiness

"Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it the more it will elude you but if you turn your attention to other things it will come and sit softly on your shoulder"

This has to be one of my favorite quotes of all time. It makes you think a lot. Well it makes me think a lot. I usually am the person who looks for happiness and only finds it sometimes. My new life goal is to let happiness come and find me. I am no longer in a pursuit of happiness. For now I have what I really need in life and that is great friends and an awesome family!

Killing Me Softly

Those words meant so much to me that night. I thought we had something "special." Your such a beautiful liar. You know how to say things that make my heart skip a beat. You were so sincere with those three words. I guess I should have realized you were a drunken fool. I still believe that you do have feelings for me. I mean you came back to me over and over again, when the truth of the matter is we were never together. It felt as if it was fate, as if we were meant to be. Then that other night when we were sitting in that room talking about how you hurt me the first time and you kept apologizing to me over and over again. You said if I was willing to try you were willing to try, but yet again that night you were drunk. I honestly want to believe that all the things you said that night were true. It breaks my heart because everything was just so convincing. I guess we both played a fool in this little game I like to call "love." You are the only one I ever loved, you are my first "love." It might all sound a little crazy bizzare becasue we were never an "item," but it's true everything I told you I meant it, you showed me how to love a person, and how to forget a person. Your killing me softly and I think you know how.